The much powerful trigger in me during mychildhood days was a compulsive desire to be like Mahatma Gandhi, Einstein, or atleast to be a film celebrity or a cricket star.
This is the way childhood days starts. A dream is set to chase after, an ideal is constructed to conform, a war is designed to confront, but all this is out of castle. Never did we know, whatit is all about... never did we understand it nor did we want it. But unconsciously, it gets ingrained in us with our very existence.
I had a cousin when he was promoted to class 3, I was in class 9. After my 8th class exam, I had visitedhim in a summer vacation. He was too cute, smart and playful to have some fun time with him. I engaged myself in teaching him. Usually, every morning, I explain him a chapter on math, and by end of the day he returnswith the worked out exercise, all flawless, and with right kind of rationality and analysis.
His disgruntled parents were but too busy in discovering his kid just above the sky, above everybody. And I heard their persistent complain of the poor performance of their boy. “ he is notcoming first in the class, we are investing so much of money, energy and time after him, what is the fun in it”.
I was not that matured at that age, I came and asked him… why can not you work harder, and come first in the class?Instantly, he started laughing… He he he he he he he.. I asked what is he he he..his reply was “HE is relative pronoun”, I was shaken. Such profound was the grammatical strength of one who has not just studied even alphabets of English grammar, and how easy one was in smilingtowards a coveted first position!
My vacation was over. I backed to my life,for the new class, to the routine again. This was a difficult feel to be away from him. One day, I received a call from him.We had a joyous talk for somemoments. Progressively, He said, I am too suffocated over here. Do you know, my parents have done something extraordinary in their life, I also want to do at least some thing like them. My reply was “ you are too doing extraordinary, completing the entire math book of years just with in 10 days isby any assessment an exemplary deal. I could hear his feeble and desperate cry,“ no you would never understand bhai, you can never feel it, they have really done something what I can not do”
All what I could understand that day is that this guy is either growing rebel or too restless to confirm to his parent’s expectation, to their set idols and icons.
There was a gap after that. I moved to hostel after a year, almost got segregated from even the nearest relatives. I had not seen my cousin for many years. After a decade, it came to my ear thatthe guy is spoiled, a loafer, a dull and dumb guy who is not able to even complete his intermediate exam. That was a shock. Could that ever happen?Anyhow, somehow he managed to complete his intermediate and joined some engineering college. He found there a comfortable zone in the group of ruffiansect of locals and day scholars. His tenderness, his intelligence, his sense and substance were long buried; he was instrumental in initiating all sorts of disturbance in college. And finally, he attacked some govt official for somepetty college politics and landed in jail.
I heard his tone one more time over phone.His frustration, his heart rending reaction…
Let me stop this narration here, I feel pity for the parents and equally an intensified hatredness accrued in me towards them. It is not just about my cousin, but this worshippingidol/icon starts at home from our parents.
Once upon a time, there was a civilized jungle. A civilized jungle in the sense, all the inhabitants of the jungle use to study, go to college, offices. They use to follow the same decorum as wehuman do.
One morning, a school going rabbit was reading the newspaper, and he found a big coverage of a lion coming to address the public. He opened the Television set; he found all the news channel arecovering the coming of lion. A big felicitation meeting is being organized;loads of securities are being deployed. There is hour long discussion on
TV channels by variousintellectuals/reporters about the different aspect of the visiting of lion forhis address.
The rabbit was confusingly curious of all these media coverage, and asked to his father “ Dad, who that lion was,why everybody is talking about him?” .. The father rabbit said, this is the lion, the king of the jungle. If at all you have to be something in your life, be a lion. Live life like a lion, a life of king size.
The rabbit started dreaming a life of lion, as I used to do to be a Mahamta Gandhi, Eisnstein, the least a film celebrity or cricket star.
The behavioral pattern of the rabbit slowly drifted to the taste of lion. It started eulogizing the thought, action,and words of Lion. Slowly, the rabbit turned out to be bit adamant, and demanding in its nature. He tends to be dominant like lion. When we try to follow, or copy a person, we can not in fact copy a person’s intellectual depth or emotional intensity, what we do basically is copying the peripheralbehavior of others. As a consequence, people in community of the rabbit started going away from him. He was forced to solitude. Nobody liked him, but the intensity of becoming somebody else was so powerful in him that he couldnot realize what is going wrong with him.
Each moment he was broken from inside, afeel of incompleteness and helplessness was ruling him every while.
The rabbit reached at a marriageable age,and considered the most beautiful rabbit of the jungle as his girl friend. He went and asked the female to come with him. The female rabbit was so disturbed,“ how could it be; without grace, without consideration you are compelling me to go with you” . The issue is raised to the community level; all of them together insulted the rabbit in a meeting imposing somefinancial penalty.
The lion inside the rabbit is all set to ire and fire. It was feeling unrest, and it thought to kill the female rabbits a measure of revenge. This is a dark deep night, the pounding rain isintensely horrifying the jungle. The rabbit invade the female’s house with a knife in it’s hand. The female was peacefully sleeping,before the knife is stabbed at the female chest, the rabbit could see her glittering face at the flash of the lightening.
Though for a fraction of minute, but it is for the first time the rabbit could see the face of her. Unknowingly, with her grace or innocence, It fall in love with her with in no moment. The rabbit wastransfixed, what it was trying to do? He threw the knife, and thought could he ever kill one?? It really did not take a time for him to endear or love one. He realized he is innocent, soft. It kissed at her forehead, two drops of tear was rolling down his cheeks. The gushing anguish was looking a way out to vent itself. He threw the knife, and made an
exit out of the room.
But what he was trying to do his entire life?? Everybody lovesto be a lion, but nobodyloves a lion. Nobody loves to be a rabbit, but everybody loves the rabbit.There is the catch, there is the trick, there is the beauty of its existence,the rabbit realized. People adores him, loves him unconditionally, feel happyof his presence. There is a divine grace in its existence, a blessing that everybody fall sick of its innocence, and towards its pure, harmless and immaculate disposition. The contribution to of the rabbit to the jungle is noless that of a lion.
Could the lion achieve the strength of rabbit with its million life??
Friends, we are all distinct and unique individual with our life trajectory is unique its way. A craze to conform just only symbolizes that we are all suffering from multiple personality disorder,which we are not to ready to identify by any means.
The world belongs to a very few percentage of people those who believe in their thoughts and conviction, be the earth breaking philosopher or scientist. They are not greater mortal, but to put itin a right way they were not the victim of the copy cat phenomenon and that makes all the difference.
Now, I do not dream to like a Mahatma Gandhi, Einstein, or at least to be a film celebrity or a cricket star. I am complete in the self. I will just do good , this is my motto, and my motto hasnot to be compromised just me to be something other.
Author
Chinmaya Nayak
Bangalore
